Thursday, January 09, 2020

Make Peace With Your Past

For many years I was struggling to let go of many negative thoughts about things happened in the past. From outside I was happy and energetic because I could press down my negative thoughts without letting them to rise. The downside of that is, it drains lot of energy to hold the thoughts like that. After a fair amount of trial and errors,  I made peace with the past. Finally my mind is at peace.

A person who walked a tough path and came out successful is a resource to others. I loved reading such life stories. They inspired me and helped me to guide my thought process on making peace with my past. What said and done can be undone. You got to play for the strengths you have. You will have past memories of course, and let them be your lessons learned through the journey of life. Good or bad, everything is an experience. My heard this famous phrase from my father when I was a small kid, "Experience comes from our foolishness, but wisdom comes from our experience".  

I'm writing this post after many years of making peace with my past. It helped me to make my mind when both my parents died. Loosing someone so dear to you will be the biggest sorrow you'll carry through out your life. Practicing letting go and making peace with the past will help you to overcome these sorrows before it becomes a chronic negative energy in your life. Do not have regrets in life. If you are smart, you'll avoid all actions you do today that you'll have a negative impact on your life in the future. Life is too short and don't let the past haunt your future. 

Monday, November 12, 2018

The 39-Year-Old-Orphan

My mother passed away on 11th May 2012 and my father passed away on 26th Oct 2018. I am the only child. I am 39 years old (now) when father died but for a moment, I felt like I'm an orphan.

These two were the foundation of my life and I'm so lucky to have these two amazing individuals as my parents.

One blog post is not enough to mention everything I feel about my parents. They both are gone from this world but they will live in my heart for ever.

You got to love your parents when they are alive. It doesn't make any sense to preach good about parents when they are no more. You got to take care of your parents when they are alive. A simple call to say hi to them can be your last call to them. Don't postponed that call.

I love my mom & dad and may their beautiful souls finds their paths to nirwana. 

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Rant - Simple Things are Complex from Inside

Most of us wish to have a simple life with less stress. And we create products and services to make people's life easy. But if we think carefully there is a complex side to most of the simple solutions we have today. The simplicity we enjoy today have it's massive complexity underneath and it's unknown to many of those who enjoys it. Let's look at a couple of day to day products and services we use to make our life easy and simple.

The car you drive everyday is making your daily commuting easy. But it's a very complex machine that you don't understand unless you have the specific knowledge about automobile engineering. The Mobile phone you use to keep in touch with the rest of the world seems like a small gadget that you only have to recharged everyday. But there are very complex systems working together to provide that simplified experience to you. This scenario is applied to almost all the things we consume today. And it is getting more and more complex in the future.

What I'm trying to tell myself here is, yes I said myself as I'm writing stuff that are rambling on my brain, people create complex systems/processes/products/services to fulfill people's never ending desires. The market operates based on the demand. And there is a competition too. When one system is in place, the competing system try to find it's place with a competitive advantage. In order to offer that competitive edge, another complex system is introduced with another complex back-end. But they all try their best to offer these systems with a simplified front-face (UI, Appearance and highly intelligent interaction methods).

Perhaps this post might not make any sense. But I want to read this post in 5 years from today. Our lives are never simple. They never will be. What ever we consume today have a complex backend to it. And there are people who work hard to make sure the other people get the maximum out of their product or service. And if you think carefully, everything is inter-connected. What ever you do, where ever you are, the actions you perform is connected to each other. And you touch multiple complex systems (directly and indirectly) to get your life's simple things done.

I'm writing this post at a Tim Hortans at Borden/Charles - Kitchener. I'm using a MacBook Air to connect to Tim Horton's Wifi. I came here on my Honda CRV. I'm drinking a Caramel Late. How many complex systems I've used on this scenario? The Computer, the car, The WiFi. And yes of course the Caramel Late. Even the coffee I drink came out from a complex machine. But I never felt the complexity of performing this scenario. It was so simple. It's not overthinking. There is no such thing call overthinking. You can think up to your best capacity of your mind. Thinking capacity is different for each person. Those are simple thoughts. But they came from a very complex organ called "Brain".


Friday, June 29, 2018

Keep Calm and Let the Storm Pass

This is something I learnt with some hard experience. I used to be a person who get overwhelmed easily when things go wrong. I have fall from bad to worse because I act aggressively and made wrong decisions in crisis situations. With the time and few hard lessons, I was able to overcome that mindset and to stay calm, carefully evaluate the situations to see opportunities and possible ways to overcome the negative impact.

There is an old management joke; I'll just repeat it here even though you can Google this. A little bird was flying south for the winter and fall down frozen. A cow went by put a dung on the bird. Bird felt the warmth of the dung and was happy. He started to sing for joy. A passing cat heard this sound and reached out to the bird. And he ate the bird. Three things were derived from this joke;

1. Not everyone that drop shit on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone that pull you out from shit is your friend
3. And when you are in deep shit, keep your mouth shut

This classic joke made really sense to me in many occasions in my life. In this hyperactive social media era, where you post every single moment in your life online, it's really important to understand the value of being calm and quiet in difficult times. When things are hot and messed up, take a step back, slow down and think through the situation. You will see the opportunities shining. Grab the opportunities and move on. It's all our mindset. I learned the art of being calm and quite on difficult situations and make right decisions to become more successful than before.

If I can do it, you can too.

Monday, January 01, 2018

New Year and a New Adventure

Life has taken me in many routes and it taught me many lessons. Some I had to learn the hard way. But all in all, I am so thankful for what I have and I am living my life to the level of my expectations.

Me and my family moved to Canada last year (22nd November 2017) to go on our next adventure in life. It was one of my life goals and now the new journey begins with a new vision. I am thankful to my parents, relatives and everyone who stood beside me and left me equally because all those people shaped me to who I am today.

Canada is a great country. It's relatively colder but I like it. My wife and kids love it. My family members are waiting to come here too. We will face new challenges here, of course. Challenges will be there but the way we face them will determine the outcome of it. So I am taking up all the challenges with a smile and overcome them to yield a positive outcome from each.

I post this note to remind myself that; in this year 2018 I have to thrive in career, learn new things and enjoy the little things in life.

Happy New Year.  

Sunday, October 08, 2017

I Got Inked

Getting a tattoo was on my wishlist for a long time. Yes, from my childhood. I was unable to get it done due to many reasons. In a way, I am happy that I did not get a tattoo those days as I was not aware of the body arts, tattoo tradition and cultural roots of this process. I would have got a snake, flame or a barbwire. With this blog post, I would like to document my experience and the meaning of my tattoo. This post if for me to remind myself about getting my first tattoo and read about it when I am old (provided that I am alive). Also, I hope there will be some useful information for those who wish to get their first tattoo. 
  • Learn about tattoos 
Before I start searching for a tattoo artist, I studied about the process, history of it, various cultures those who practice this as a tradition and as an art. From the various types or tattoos, my favorite was Maori and Polynesian Tribal designs. They looked powerful and were suitable to put my story in to a design. The next thing I considered was not to offend any culture, religion or country. The last thing I want is to get deported from a country because I have a symbol in my tattoo that offend them. 
  • Think. No, don't just think, think hard 
I thought all the aspects of myself living with a body art for the rest of my life. Family, profession, etc. This helped me to determine the place and the size of the tattoo. It also helped me to formulate the story I want to embed in to my tattoo which I am going to carry for years to come. 
  • Story / Meaning / Purpose

This is a unique element in any tattoo that express something more than a beautiful art. Meaning of this tattoo is for me to give a spark of motivation and remind myself of my roots, uniqueness, energy and never ending warrior spirit to fight the challenges on my face. The two half Tiki faces represent that I have both soft and tough characteristics, which also denote my roots. Protect my love ones until my last breath. Learn to let go when the time is set. Start the life with level zero on an utter lost and still rise to my expected level of success. Not to live a life for other's expectations. Lastly, the lotus is to denote nirvana. I don't know about my previous life nor my next life. The only life I know is this. I want to live it to my fullest and do not expect a next life. 
  • The tattooing process

We started the first session on 31st August 2017. I did not want to rush. It was a 5 hour session. Aligned the design and draw the first bits. Second session was in a week after the first one and completed all the lining. Third session was after two weeks of lining where I kept the lines to heal and start to do the filling. I am not a fan of lots of fills as I want to keep the lines visible with details. And another idea is, I can improve the tattoo at a later time. Both second and third session were lasting for about eight hours (with breaks of course). 

  • The healing process
Most of the people (Specially in Sri Lanka) do not pay attention to the healing process. They leave the tattoo studio and do not follow the after care instructions. Well, I thought, this is going to be on my body and become a part of my skin. So, I have to take care of this well. I washed the tattoo three times per day in the first few days and applied an after care product called Recovery's Tattoo Salve. I used Vaseline in the first two sessions and my experience is not good. It gave me a burning feeling and the tattoo also looked popped out. So I bought the Tattoo Salve and found it was really smooth and helped the recovery process smooth. Peeling and flaking took about 3 weeks to finish. My skin was bit tough and the needles did not went through at the first time, so my tattoo artist had put some pressure on at certain places. And some areas actually have to re-touch as the ink has not got in to the skin. It's a result of having a tough skin (Which is a good thing). I also experience it difficult to push injection needles too. Healing stage is very important and if you let the tattoo heal properly, it will come out bright and avoid any infections too. Check out some pics from the healing days 4 and 5. 

People Asked Me these Common Questions:

Does it hurt? 
"Of course it does"

    How much did it cost? 
    "I can't tell you that in public. What I can tell you is, good tattoos aren't cheap and cheap tattoos aren't good".

    Did you family members liked it?
    "Yes, in fact, my wife and sister-in-law also got tattoos in the same month. Well... Parents were not happy".

    Was the equipment sanitized?
    "Yes. The tattoo artist (Mudhitha) were highly considered about the health factor of the client and himself. People get more diseases by going to dentist than getting a tattoo. I need to say, as the client, you have to be clean and fresh before you sit for the session. Otherwise, you are giving a hard time to the tattoo artist with your body order. And no alcohol or smoking please".

    Will you loose the status quo? 
    "Well, status is subjected to change like everything else in this world. Who cares?"

    Now that you have a tattoo, does that mean you are a hotshot than before?
    "Absolutely, certainly you got that point right. I am very proud of my tattoo".

    Finally, all I have to say is, getting myself inked was not just to have some tribal design on my sleeve. It has a purpose. And my advise for all who wish to get a fresh tattoo is;
     "Think before you ink". 

    Wednesday, June 14, 2017

    Expecting the Unexpected

    Hopes, expectations, goals and targets are some of the key factors that keeps us motivated to do what we do and overcome the daily challenges in life. On the other hand, the above factors are key contributors to increase a person's stress level and push in to depression. Sometimes hopes, expectations, goals or targets are fragile and we do not have much control over them. And we will experience failures along the way. Loosing hope, not meeting expectations, missing a goal or a target can easily lead a person to a high stress and finally become depressed. This situation can be observed in careers, relationships, education and in the life in general.

    What if we can have hope, expectations and all above mentioned without being stressed or depressed? In my experience, we tend to build lot of stress around the things we care the most. We do not think something bad can happen to our family, career or other expectations that we have set high values in life. We do not expect our love ones to die, to loose the jobs, to fail an exam, etc. But in real life, these things can happen at a time that you never expect them to happen. So if we expected these things to happen rather than avoiding the reality we can control the level of stress and keep calm while working the way out of those situations. It also gives the right energy we want to operate in a critical situation.

    For an example, when we drive on the road, instead of not expecting, we should expect that some one will jump to the road or some vehicle will drive carelessly and hit on ours. So you are constantly focused and ready to take the best effort to avoid a clash than a person who drives without expecting it. People have plan A, B, C to Z because they expect the unexpected and want to be prepared. We can enjoy the life to the fullest capacity with all the hopes and expectations while being ready to expect the unexpected. That way, at each failure, we have the strength and mindset to collect our life together and move forward without worrying on what we lost. Just a small thought yet have a powerful positive impact on life.